About

The Impetus

I never knew much about blogs before starting my own. I didn’t follow any because I assumed a very narrow line between blogs and online articles, so why read something extra? In a way, I kind of thumbed my nose at them. If I wanted someone’s opinion, I’d simply keep reading my favorite editorial writers, who, while subjective, still backed their points of view with facts.

Then I signed up on Facebook, again something that I was initially against. At first, I was hooked, reconnecting with a lot of old friends. But only a few months later, I got tired of maintaining my page. I also got annoyed with some people’s mundane status updates, so I rebelled and made mine intimate and honest. They intensified when Jake was born. I once wrote: “My son looks like his mom, but he has my big penis.”  And “Jake, when I am changing your shit diaper, you should not be the one crying.” All of my status updates were about Jake and parenting, and I got good responses.

I’ve always liked to write, and as I’ve gotten rapidly older, it’s come easier to me. It’s the one thing I’m good at. And it’s why I’ve worked as a journalist, a high school English teacher, and now a proposal writer. I’m most interested in creative writing, and I’m very comfortable writing short stories. I have some solid ones, but it’s a bitch to publish them. So they sit, only read by a few people.  On the other hand, my Facebook status updates were viewed by hundreds of people in an instant. Since writing-space on Facebook is limited, I turned to blogging. Blogging is incredibly convenient. It’s free, it takes no time to start, it’s completely autonomous, and you reach your audience in seconds. There are no editors touching it, and no rights have to be surrendered to a publisher. It’s yours.

The Blog

Chocolate Diapers is about my experience as a father. And it’s very honest. Because it’s honest, it’s also funny, dark, angry, sad, inflammatory and offensive. It is what it is. Finding inspiration is never a problem. I just pay attention. Once, I was going to the bathroom while tending to Jake at the same time. Jake rifled through the under-sink cabinet as I sat on the toilet, helplessly. But I was most bothered because I couldn’t think of a good blog topic for that week. Then I paid attention to the current situation and had it. If you’re new to Chocolate Diapers, that entry is called “Paradise Compromised” from September 13, 2009. The thing is, I don’t need something whacky to happen in order to tell a story. Parenting is a collection of small interesting stories. Sitting on the toilet with your youngster in the bathroom isn’t whacky. Every parent is forced to do it. Writing about it is.

Me

I grew up in Miami, Florida and did high school at Fordham Prep in the Bronx, New York. I moved back to Miami to attend the University of Miami, where I studied film and English. At the turn of the millennium, I moved to the Midwest, first living in Indiana then ultimately Chicago.  Miami was and will always be close to my heart, but Chicago is the greatest city in the world. We live in the near suburb of Glenview now, but we often go to the city, which is 25 minutes away. My wife is Amy, and my son is Jake, almost two and the star of Chocolate Diapers. I would do anything for my family, except miss a Miami Hurricanes football game. I spent much of my childhood in section UV of the Orange Bowl—sitting in a cloud of beer stench and next to a lovable biker gang of hillbillies—in awe of the future NFL talent on the field. Can anything come between that bond? Jake’s birthday, I suppose. But that’s in April!

This is not an obligatory shoutout. Chocolate Diapers (the blog) would not exist had Amy not encouraged me to start it. “It’s your voice,” she tells me. I feel proud when a blog makes her laugh, but I also appreciate her honesty when she reacts to one with an “Eh.” (Actually, I get pretty defensive and call her names in the comments section.) Every family needs an I.T. guy, and without my brother-in-law Scott, Chocolate Diapers would exist only as words on a lame and dated background. Thanks for keeping the site pretty and updated. Shameless plug: check out Scott’s band at www.moisturepimp.com. Every brother can use an older brother like Ari, who will actually make Chocolate Diapers shirts, thus providing the template for the website logo. Finally, there’s Jake, whose every action is blog-worthy. My blog entries wouldn’t be the same if all I did was gush about him. So I’ll do it here. I feel lucky that I have Jake. Yes, he can be a handful, but so is any child, even the boring ones. But he’s also the cutest, sweetest, smartest, and cuddliest.

And he’s mine.