FAQs

When and why did you start this blog?

August, 2009. I used to post my feelings about Jake on Facebook. They were funny, honest and mostly inappropriate. I got strong reactions, so I expanded them into blog entries.

Does anyone help you with the site?

Yes. My brother-in-law is an I.T. guy, and he helps me with anything I can’t figure out. Also, my brother provided the picture for the logo.

Where did you come up with the name Chocolate Diapers?

My son shits a lot.

Do you have to run things by your wife before writing about them?

As a courtesy, I let her preview posts before I publish them, but that’s more just to get an initial critique. The only issue we’ve had was when I wrote “soft baby genitals” in the “Bathtime Violates the Geneva Convention” post. Amy pleaded with me to take it out, but I kept it in, arguing context.

Is your family okay with some of the things you say?

Except for “soft baby genitals,” yes. Amy was the one who suggested starting a blog. My parents, in-laws and grandparents read and are very supportive.

Does anyone ever worry what you’ll say about them?

I’m careful not to go after any friends or family. I’m passive aggressive, but I’m not that passive aggressive. I just don’t think that would be a fair thing to do. Of course, I call Jake names, but he deserves it.

Do you have to curse so much?

Abso-fucking-lutely. I don’t force curse words in. They just come, and I write them.

Do you love your son

Yes.

Once he’s potty-trained, will you change the name of the blog?

No. The name has stuck, and I like it.

Will you show him your blog one day when he’s older?

Probably not. My family has  suggested letting him read it when he’s old enough because he might find it amusing. I’m not sure it would be. If my mom or dad showed me the brutally honest journal they kept of me, I think I might resent them.

You’re nothing more than a watered-down, frat-boy imitation. You come off as an uninformed, untalented whiner with anger issues and a Pearl Jam record. Hey, what else you got up on that shelf, Lester Bangs — 4 Non-Blondes? A little Blues Traveler for when you wanna get real nuts???

You left out Counting Crows, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, and Incubus. One other thing: blow me.

Just cause you evoke a reaction has nothing to do with doing something “right”. just like your kid shitting shitting in the tub. i guess your overly dramatic, spastic reaction was “right”?

I had to send in the Principal from Billy Madison to respond to this one:

“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”